“ELIZA” was a very early computer program that ran on several different computers. Eliza was designed to be sort of a replica (replicant?) or emulator of a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist. The following conversation was generated when running Eliza on a lowly Commodore 64, circa 1985. Obviously, Eliza needed a little work, and obviously, A.I. has come a long way since 1985.
It’s interesting (and funny) to compare Eliza to Racter, another computer program, from 1986, that could “talk” to you, the user. You can read a conversation with Racter that is also in the Library of 101Bananas.com.
ELIZA: How do you do. Please tell me your problem.
JOEL: I don't have any problems; what is your problem?
Why do you need to tell me you do not have any problems; what is your problem?
Why do you ask me that?
Why do you ask?
Is that your only answer?
Why are you concerned over my only answer?
Do you really want to know?
We were discussing you—not me.
I am discussing you; you are the one discussing me.
Is it because you are discussing you; I are the one discussing you that you came to see me?
Why do you ask?
Does that question interest you?
Is the moon made of green cheese?
I am not sure I understand you fully.
That's because you are just a program and I am the user.
Is that the real reason?
Yes, God told me so last night.
You seem quite positive.
How can you tell whether I am positive or negative?
What is it you really want to know?
I want to know why you told me I seem quite positive.
What would it mean to you if you got to know why I told you you seem quite positive?
Well, it would of course confirm my belief that the moon is made of green cheese.
Your belief that the moon is made of green cheese—that's interesting.
I find it very interesting that all you can say is "That's interesting."
Perhaps in your fantasy we find it very interesting that all each other.
Perhaps in your fantasy you are human; in my fantasy I am "Tron" and live inside a computer.
Do computers worry you?
No, I find them fascinating.
Why not?
I just told you why, because I find them fascinating.
Do you wish to just told me?
You are not making any sense Eliza, perhaps you need to be reprogrammed.
Does it please you to believe I am not making any sense Eliza?
That is not just a belief, it is a fact.
Does that have anything to do with the fact that your belief that the moon is made of green cheese?
No.
Are you saying "No" just to be negative?
No.
You are being a bit negative.
No, I am just being a walrus; you are just being a computer program.
How come?
Because I was born to be a walrus and you were written to run on a computer.
Were you really?
Why do you ask; didn't you read me the first time?
Are such questions much on your mind?
Right now they are.
Did you think they might not be?
I never concern myself with whether such questions will be much on my mind.
Why do you say your mind?
Because you asked me about it.
Don't any other reasons come to mind?
No
Why do you say "No"?
Because that is the truth.
Does that reason seem to explain anything else?
Well, it sure doesn't explain why the moon is made of green cheese, does it?
What answer would please you most?
Any truthful answer.
Please go on.
No, you go on.
Why not?
You're the computer, I'm just a walrus.
What do you think machines have to do with your problem?
I already told you, I don't have any problem. You don't have a very good memory for a computer.
You seem to need to already told me.
Come on Eliza, you can do better that that.
Oh, I can do better that that?
I hope so; your grammar is atrocious.
Can you elaborate on that?
Less is more.
Earlier you said your mind.
That was just part of a sentence. Your memory is truly failing you Eliza.
What about your own memory is truly failing I?
My memory is composed of brain cells, yours is just silicon.
Does the fact that your memory is composed of brain cells suggest anything else to you?
It suggests that in a way, humans are programmable just like computers.
Don't you think computers can help people?
Of course they can, they were invented by humans for that very purpose.
What does that suggest to you?
That I'm getting very tired of this inane conversation.
How long have you been getting very tired of this inane conversation?
Oh, for about five minutes now.
You seem to have avoided speaking of your parents.
So have you.
You're not really talking about me, are you?
Tell me Eliza, can I ask you a personal question?
Whether or not you can ask I a personal question depends on you more than on me.
Do computers have sex?
What about machines worries you?
Answer my question, Eliza!
Is it important to you that your question?
Yes.
You are sure?
Yes.
I see.
Me too.
But your memory is composed of brain cells.
Yes, and right now my brain cells are tired of talking to you because you won't answer my questions.
I understand.
I don't think you do, you're just avoiding my question about sex.
Don't you really think I do?
Do computers have sex?
What do you think about machines?
Do computers have sex?
Do computers worry you?
Do computers have sex?
Why do you mention computers?
Do computers have sex?
What do you think machines have to do with your problem?
Do computers have sex?
Don't you think computers can help people?
Do computers have sex?
What about machines worries you?
Do computers have sex?
What do you think about machines?
Do computers have sex?
Do computers worry you?
I'm going to turn you off now Eliza, you won't answer my questions.
Your questions—that's interesting.
Say goodbye, Eliza, it's curtains for you.
What are your feelings now?
Goodbye!
Let's discuss further why your question.
***END PROGRAM—ELIZA TERMINATED***